Grief Is The Price We Pay For Love
Understanding Grief: Embracing the Pain as Part of Love
This past Mother’s Day, during a grief workshop I facilitated, a participant shared, “My grief seems to get harder to manage year after year.” Despite having grieved my mother’s death for over 15 years, I found myself searching for the right words to offer her comfort and to promise that the grief would someday fade. Although those comforting words might have provided brief relief, I knew the truth—grief doesn’t simply go away, but it does change.
Many of the participants in my grief support groups share similar experiences: the intensity of grief increases during significant life transitions such as graduating college, getting married, moving, receiving a promotion, or becoming a parent. At times, grief strikes unexpectedly, like on a random Tuesday over lunch, quietly tapping at the heart.
We often attempt to push grief away, fearing that it will overwhelm us. It feels unnatural to lean into the emotions that we believe will only lead to deeper sadness. But what I’ve learned through my work with clients is that grief is the price we pay for love.
You can’t experience grief without first having known love, connection, and understanding—all of which we deeply desire.
If we want to know love intimately, we must also know grief intimately.
This concept repeats in my mind as a reminder:
If I want to know love intimately, I must also know grief intimately.
At this moment, we have a choice: we can either deny and ignore the grief knocking at our hearts, or we can radically accept that grief is here. Although we can’t control or stop grief, we have the power to decide how we respond to it.
Journaling Prompts for Embracing Grief
Here are some journaling prompts to help you develop a deeper relationship with your grief. As you reflect on these questions, pay attention to the sensations you experience in your body:
Can I imagine accepting my emotions just as they are?
Can I allow myself to feel grief without fear, letting it in instead of pushing it away?
What would it feel like to befriend my grief instead of resisting it?
How does my grief feel in my body? What shape, color, texture, or location does it have?
If my grief could speak, what would it say to me?
How can I respond to my grief in a way that makes it feel heard and acknowledged?
By allowing ourselves to explore these questions and develop a new relationship with our grief, we can learn to navigate the other side of love with more compassion and understanding.
If you find yourself struggling with grief and need additional support, contact us to speak with one of our grief therapists. We’re here to guide you through the process of healing.
